Pausing Instead of Rushing to the Next Step
Life transitions, whether chosen or unexpected, can leave us with a mixed bag of emotions, from uncertainty and anxiety to frustration and overwhelm. Our instinct is often to push through or rush towards the next step, wanting to leave behind what was and move on to what comes next.
Spending time in the gap between the old and the new, allowing ourselves to feel the full range of emotions that arise, including those that may seem contradictory, can feel like the last thing we want to do
But pausing in exactly that gap, making time to acknowledge what has brought us here and uncover the feelings and beliefs beneath the surface, can bring us to a very different place from which to move forward, with deeper insight and clarity.
Exploring the Gap Between the Old and the New
Again and again, I have witnessed the magic that happens in somatic coaching sessions when we pause and spend time exploring this uncertain space between what was and what is yet to come, a place where we may feel as though we have not yet found solid ground to stand on.
When we allow ourselves to stay with this uncertainty, we may discover more than the emotions we initially came with. We may also uncover strengths, resources, and qualities within ourselves that we had not fully recognized before.
Allowing ourselves to feel the full range of emotions that can arise between leaving an old situation and moving into something new requires a particular kind of space: one that is open, non-judgmental, and supportive, where whatever arises can be welcomed and met with care.
When we slow down in such a space, where everything is allowed to be present, we can begin to meet ourselves more fully, with all our complexities and often contradictory feelings. We can learn to acknowledge and accept what is here, without needing to push anything away.
A Somatic Approach to Minding the Gap
1. Listening to what lies beneath the surface
Change is something we experience with our whole being, mind and body. This is why somatic awareness can be a powerful part of this process. It can help us uncover feelings and beliefs that we might otherwise overlook or try to ignore if we rush straight towards finding a solution or deciding on the next step.
By bringing gentle awareness to sensations, breath, posture, and movement, we create space to explore what is present. We might begin to notice what lies beneath our urge to move forward, whether it is fear, a need for security, or a belief that we should already know what comes next.
Sometimes, simply bringing awareness to these underlying feelings and patterns can open up a new perspective.
2. Finding support while staying with uncertainty
At the same time, somatic practices can help us discover what supports us in this uncertain space. By noticing the ground beneath our feet, the support of a chair, or a sense of ease somewhere in our body, we can begin to find resources that help us stay present with what is unfolding, without needing to resolve everything right away.
Our nervous system plays an important role in how we experience uncertainty and change. When we feel overwhelmed by change, we may find ourselves wanting to take action quickly, or escape uncomfortable feelings. By gently bringing awareness to our bodies and noticing what helps us feel supported, we can begin to create a greater sense of safety within ourselves. Over time, these experiences may help us navigate uncertainty with greater ease, rather than automatically falling back into familiar protective patterns.
Sometimes, this awareness alone can help familiar patterns begin to shift. Along the way, we may discover qualities and strengths we had not known were there, or that we had lost touch with.
3. Discovering the next step through embodied knowing
By making time to explore these discoveries in an embodied way, we move beyond intellectual understanding. We can begin to take them in, feel them, and integrate them into our experience, allowing them to become part of our whole being.
And as we become more present with ourselves, we may also begin to sense what feels right as a next step. Clarity does not always arrive as a clear answer; sometimes, it begins as a subtle shift in how we experience a situation, a growing sense of possibility, or a deeper knowing of what matters to us.
An embodied pause during a transition can therefore support us in moving forward in a more integrated way, with greater awareness of what we are leaving behind, what we are discovering along the way, and what we want to move towards.
The Value of Exploring the Gap
The gap between the old and the new may feel uncertain, uncomfortable, or even frightening. But it is not just something to get through; it is a space worth exploring.
When we allow ourselves to pause and meet what is present, we may discover resources, strengths, and new perspectives that we would otherwise have missed.
It can be a space for discovering something about ourselves that may actually change how we move forward.